Keeping Up With...
I turn 40 this week and I truly can't believe it! Not because I'm in denial at all, so far I adore getting older and I'm going to try my best to age with gratitude and class and be grateful for each year I'm on the planet, cause one thing I do know for sure is that in a split second, life can get better and life can get a hell of a lot worse and we never know on any given day what will be handed to us!
When Caci asked me to collate this I spent a lot of time considering what one actually learns year after year on the planet and based on those thoughts, here's some serious and not so serious musings.
*DISCLAIMER: Just because I've 'learned' these things, doesn't mean I've mastered them ha!
40 THINGS I'VE LEARNED AT 40
1. Things to do every day: Stretch. Say thank you. Hold open the door. Drink water. Savour your coffee. Notice the small things that exist to make your life easier.
2. Never forget to stay curious and look for ways to keep learning. Not going to University doesn’t make you ‘less than’ and it won’t hinder your career in any way whatsoever.
3. Health is wealth. You’ll have a few friends pass away young which is a constant reminder that life is short and that ‘each day really does count’, it’s not just a line that a cute young Leonardo DiCaprio spouts off in the Titanic. It’s legit.
4. Your skin is the largest most exposed organ you have, love it, cherish it, take care of it, lather it in Murad. You’re right to feel guilt around the amount of tanning you’ve done. Shame on you. Whatever season it is, wear Skinsmiths SPF daily.
5. Don’t set your alarm for any time other than the time you must be out of bed. Pressing snooze is your enemy.
6. You know that loveable brat you call your little sister who used to steal all your clothes without asking and get you in trouble a lot? When you grow up, she will be the most calm, clever, hilarious and wise woman you know and she’ll be the first person you call for, well…everything.
7. Don’t date time-wasters and don’t be a time waster. Do what you say you’ll do in relationships – if you don’t want to, you don’t care enough.
8. As young as you can afford to, invest in good skin care. Don’t wait till your mid 30’s because it’s true what they say, prevention is better than cure.
9. Travel, wherever you can, whenever you can.
10. If you want to feel good about yourself, never check out your arse in a changing room with florescent lighting.
11. Life has plot twists and not all dreams come true. You may not be able to be a Mum, your body may let you down in this area. Continue to be grateful for everything you are and everything you have despite this unwanted surprise, keep perspective.
12. Share. Share compliments, share chocolate, share smiles, share the remote, share your home. Share laughs. Share your skin routine. Nothing bad ever comes from sharing with good intention.
13. Sex is best when there’s a good connection. Same with WiFi.
14. Miracles happen. Plain and simple. Never stop noticing them or believing in them.
15. There is no such thing as a ‘normal family’. Your nuclear family will change. Both your Mum and Dad will go on to marry…Men! Your family will expand and evolve and you’ll have more wonderful people in your family to love. You’ll find yourself in a continuous episode of ‘Modern Family’ and you’ll love every belly laughing minute of it.
16. Don’t forget to ‘toothpick or floss’.
17. The perfect black blazer never goes out of style.
18. All the things you feel insecure about are rarely noticed by those around you. People are too busy feeling inadequate about themselves to give a shit about you. What somebody thinks of you is none of your business. If they don’t have your mobile number and call you on it for chats, they don’t know you anyway.
19. Exercise. Not only is it good for you, it heals, it energises and it teaches your body who’s boss. While you can move with freedom, don’t waste the opportunity to do so.
20. Buy your own damn flowers.
21. Using a serum under your moisturiser is a game changer, as is using an eye cream under your eyes. It’s not a marketing ploy, it’s legit.
22. Beware of the ‘smiling assassins’ in life. Not everyone who smiles to your face likes you. In fact, some of them may even be out to get you. Take it as a compliment that some people will spend exorbitant amounts of their time and energy trying to bring you down. It means you are doing something right. Keep smiling for real.
23. If you don’t know an answer to a question, just say so. Don’t be the jerk that needs to have an answer to everything if you’re just talking whack.
24. Read. Whatever you enjoy. Just read.
25. You know how as a kid you used to avoid Brussel Sprouts like the plague? At 39 you’ll choose to pay nearly 30 bucks for a plate of them cause some food blogger from The Herald said they were worth it. They kinda were but wow, you’ve changed.
26. Don’t attach any part of your identity to anything or anyone outside of yourself. You are fabulous no matter what or who you do or don’t have.
27. That American rock star you interviewed who said to you that they’d cancelled the rest of their interviews and plans that day to hang out with you, wasn’t joking. Their Manager calls your office on Monday and asks what happened to you after the interview. You realise in that moment that you must be a bit more interesting/banging than you give yourself credit for and any time you ain’t feeling it after that day onward, you’ll remember that rock star and smile.
28. No one will ever love you more than your parents. Make sure you say thank you to them for all they have done and continue to do so for as long as you are humanly able.
29. You’re short. Get over it.
30. If you want to go through life feeling like you’ve got your shit together more than most, don’t get married. Marriage is like a mirror that your spouse holds up to remind you of all the shortfalls and triggers you have. Your choice will be to either do the work on yourself, or not. You can only ever be responsible for your side of the ‘marriage fence’ and the rest is none of your business. Knowing this is the key to your freedom.
31. Trust your intuition. It’s far more in-tune than you think and it never steers you wrong. Even if it makes no sense, trust it. Not so you can be right, but so you can be safe.
32. If you want ice cream, never buy frozen yogurt thinking that it will do instead. It won’t. Buy the ice cream and eat the damn ice cream.
33. You didn’t earn the way you look. You just popped out that way. Always remember looks fade. If you don’t nurture the inside of your soul as much as the outside of your face, you’re doing nothing other than looking pretty while taking up space.
34. Enjoy wine but don’t drown in it.
35. Believe in love. Everyone wants it. Everyone deserves it. Don’t expect to get it before you give it, that’s not the way it works.
36. Keep on top of paying your taxes.
37. The quickest dinner is the easiest dinner. A salad: Roast veggies, spinach, pine nuts, feta, vinaigrette dressing, salt and pepper.
38. The majority of things in life have nothing to do with ‘luck’. Work and preparedness make you ‘lucky’ and nothing less. At the age of 26 you ask for two contracts at NZ’s top TV Production Company when you were only offered one, you get what you ask for. You’ll continue to forge ahead in life with this attitude because you learn that if you don’t ask, you don’t get.
39. True loyalty matters more than anything. If it’s not returned, remove those people from your life and you’ll be happier for it. Brutal, maybe lonely sometimes, but beautifully simple.
40. The women who you call your best friends will surprise you. They will challenge you, they will hold you to account, they will make you belly laugh till you have tears, they will hurt with you, they will hold you, they will check in on you, they will be there to support you but never judge you. They will be there to inspire you. They will be the true loves of your life.
Lots of love,
Posted: Monday 10 August 2020