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The rules of Engagement.

Don’t worry; this isn’t going to be one of those soppy blogs that talks about how amazing being engaged is. How life is changed forever and that it’s like walking on clouds every day with doves flying around my head…Wedding blogs cover that off and make every girl who isn’t engaged, feel like they are missing out, or slightly ‘less’ because they aren’t in the team yet. No, this is not one of those blogs. In fact, it’s the opposite of that.

Being engaged is awesome, and planning to spend your life with someone is magical. Goes without saying. What being engaged means to me personally is, you’ve met the person you want to share yourself with, your life with, the good bits, the bad bits, you commit to growing individually and together and bring the best out in each other. You’ve got to trust that they will still love you and all you are, even after they know everything! It’s certainly not about a ring, it’s not about the party, it’s about the excitement of knowing that the one you choose over and above all others in life, chooses you back, and you find yourself in the most awesome team of 2 you could ever imagine.

Rewind a little though, because that’s not what this is about. This blog is a letter to “Carolyn from a few years ago” and also a letter to anyone who is in that place of feeling like they are getting left behind and don’t have a ticket on the ‘I’ve found the love of my life train”.

I’m in my mid 30’s. I thought that I’d be hitched by 30, easy. Turns out, not so easy! Funnily enough, we are not the boss of time…annoying I know.

My friends were getting hitched left right and centre, while I was the one they could rely on for ‘the gossip’ – I had stories, I had drama, I had dumping to plan, or dumping to go through (and wine and tissues to go along with that) but what I never had, was an innate knowing that the person I was with at any of those times was the one for me. They wouldn’t commit/I wouldn’t commit, they were not trustworthy/I wasn’t exactly the best version of myself from time to time either, and around it went.

I have always held the relationship I was to choose for my life, in the highest regard. It is (in my opinion) the most important choice one could ever make.

I had people ask me if I thought I had commitment issues, or if my expectations were too high…you name it, I’ve considered it. Should I just ‘make something work’? What if I’m never content and happy and it’s just me that’s got the problem? All these wonderful guy friends…but…?

To anyone waiting and wondering these things about themselves, forget about it. Remember, you know you better than anyone else. You know what makes you tick. You know what your heart is capable of. You know how you can love and laugh. You know what beauty you have to offer the world. You also know when one or more of these things is not happening…Hold true to what it is you value, and make sure that at the top of that list, is YOU.

The rest will just work itself out. I’m not being preachy, I’m just being practical. At any time where I put myself second, second is what I got. At any time I put myself first, things worked out for the best.

Be ENGAGED in…LIFE, enjoy the moments; enjoy the happiness and even be grateful for heartbreak (I know it's gross, trust me, but go with me here...) because all those cheesy quotes about things “falling into place” have an element of truth to them. 

I’d planned to travel alone for fashionistafail, now I’m traveling to Europe in 4 weeks with an awesome Fiancé, who would have thought? 

So, to the ‘myself’ from a year or two ago, and to you who might be impatient with the timing of life right now…Trust me, it really IS worth the wait. Hold true to the vision you have for your life in whatever area you are currently focussed on, hold tight, be patient, and enjoy the ride.

Love Caro x

Posted: Sunday 17 July 2016

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