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Hindsight is marvelous, if not completely useless!

It’s been a while since I sat down and dedicated some quality time to fahionistafail. Why? Well life got in the way in the way life does, and you know what? Life can sometimes be a total shit. Excuse me for being so blunt, but wow, if lately life has taught me nothing else, it’s that life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get (I realise I’m a few years behind Forrest Gump in this particular learning, give me some grace here…) and some chocolates? Well they taste like crap.

Other chocolates? They taste delicious. The thing is I’m the kind of person that eats the yummy ones so fast that they are gone before I’m ready for them to be!

Recent life events have really shown me that it’s so important to not race through the good bits. It’s important to savour them. Taste them, enjoy them, be grateful for them, lick them right up, because well…in a minute they could sour and all you are left with is that stupid giant mint one in a box of Roses Chocolates that no one wants. Gross.

Having to say goodbye in life ain’t fun. Whether that be to people, places, passions…It’s a reminder that nothing is permanent, nothing stays the same…its constant. It’s petrifying. And it really hurts.

I lost a dear friend who lived life quite literally in the moments she was blessed with and no matter how bad she was feeling she was a whirlwind of positivity and energy. I think that’s a lesson. Adore any moment we are blessed with whether it's comfortable, ideal, or not. It's a moment we won't get again.

After she passed, I went back to (escaped to) my home-away-from-home (Melbourne) and filled my heart up with the smiles and love of friends I’ve not seen for a long time and even then, walking down familiar streets, eating at my old haunts, going into my favourite old shops, there were subtle changes that were new and foreign to me…my friends have moved into new phases of life, they are the same, Melbourne is the same, but life moves…and we move with it…sometimes together and sometimes apart.

What does this have to do with fashionistafail? Well I must confess, with heartbreak comes shopping (I cracked) and YES I have retail therapied my heart into a numb state a couple of times in recent weeks and purchased a couple of things, but it also made me stop and get back on track with my travel plans. June – July next year is my time. At this stage I believe Europe is my place. 2015 has been so busy and exciting settling back in to home and I’ve been so focussed on building a life back in New Zealand that I’d put planning my travel dream on the back burner. Recent events have shown me, it’s important to do BOTH.

If we all only get one shot at things, life, love, friendships, work, experiences, then what the heck? It’s best to do it now, say it now, BE it now, feel it now and own it now.

Without sounding like one of those voice overs at the end of a Grey’s Anatomy episode (cue Snow Patrol music) these past weeks have been extreme. Sadness, happiness, perspective, love, loss, friends, gratitude for all that is and sadness for all that isn’t…and yet, here I am, here you are…and whatever our realities ARE this very second, we are blessed to be feeling it and living it.

So, feel away, make adventures, eat only the chocolates that are delicious to YOU, take your time with them – leave the rest, and be easy on yourself. (I might just be saying that last bit to appease the guilt of shopping, but hey, it is what it is…)

Forrest Gump was onto something…I’ve finally caught up.

Caro x

Posted: Tuesday 20 October 2015

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